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What's fresh and new in the life and work of Seska Lee. Week of May 5th, 2008 I performed on Saturday evening with my Team Burlesque and Uncalled For friends - Miss Sugarpuss, L. Diablo, Zack & Jimmy - Rufus was sick :-(. It was part of a Montreal Fringe Festival fundraiser. The turn out was small, but I heard it was like that in most venues that night. We were up against game 5 of the Flyers-Canadiens series. The Habs lost, but the crowd was supportive and people knew that the players played hard. You cannot ask for more than that – especially given that when the season started we were not at all favoured to finish first in our division. In other burlesque news, I am preparing my application package for the Toronto Burlesque Festival. I may actually submit two numbers – one sexy and one funny. It depends on whether I find the time to add a little extra polish to them. I will be rehearsing this week and then filming my numbers next week. I figure once I look at the footage I will have a better sense of things. I will also be submitting a trio number with Miss Sugarpuss and L. Diablo. I love working with them as they inspire me to push my limits (they are both trained dancers) and to work on my strengths (comedy). Our group number will have a bit of everything in it (dance, humour, and sexiness) and is inspired by our love of Sesame Street. We will be rehearsing in on Friday, but before we tape I do need to get a few costume pieces together. - I really enjoyed Iron Man. James did too. It is really quite a good superhero movie. It has good character development, not too many one liners, a whole bunch of sarcasm and some amazing action sequences. The suit really did come alive and seem so real. I also enjoyed the use of futuristic technology that did not seem to far advanced. It had been a while since I had been to the movies. I was quite excited to go and was looking forward to the whole experience – even if it is an over priced one. So I got myself a drink and a bag of popcorn and some liquorice. It seems my appetite has changed because between James and I we only ate half of it. Even though we did not eat all of our treats, afterwards I wanted to complete the evening out experience so we went out to a restaurant for supper. My choice was a new Ethiopian restaurant in the downtown area. We ordered way too much food, but that was OK because it made for a terrific lunch the next day. I just love Ethiopian food! - So I got something special in the mail today. It is a statement about my student loan. I get these records 4 times a year to keep track of my progress. It looks like I have finally finished paying it off! I am so thrilled. Partly, because it is a big relief to have absolutely no debt now, but also because James and I had discussed the time of getting a new cat for our family and he suggested we wait until my loan was paid off. So the day has come and I am hoping we can get a certain Miss Mew from an adoption center. We saw her on Friday before going to the movie and I am hoping she is still available Live
Webcam Show Tonight! It is the first Tuesday of the month so I will be wearing my glasses for tonight’s live webcam show on SexCamCentral. Speaking of which, I think I need to head over to my optometrist. My vision is not as sharp as I am used to. I might be needing a new prescription. I also want to ask about I eye strain from computer work as well as irritation caused from wearing false eyelashes during my burlesque performances. They might have a role in my current vision issues. Best to get a professional medical opinion. Tuesday
May 6th
Yesterday I went to the vet to see if little Miss Mew was still there and she was. In fact, they have been taking care of her since November and were quite surprised by my request to adopt her. She was rescued from the streets and since then has been well taken care of by the staff at the clinic. Still, she needed a home as they have other priorities and cannot keep all the abandoned cats that are dropped off with them. So now she comes to live with me and James! In preparation of her arrival I have been doing a massive clean-up. I got rid of all the dust bunnies in the bedroom and cleaned up underneath all the furniture. I expect that the cat will be doing plenty of exploring and I do not want her to eat anything dangerous. This dusting though has not been good for my allergies and asthma. My nose has been running and my breathing a bit laboured. But it is something that needed to be done regardless. It seems I just needed the right excuse and getting a new cat certainly is a motivating one for me. I am so thrilled.
A little video of the new addition to our family.
Like many Montrealers I am experiencing spring time allergies. The last few years have been easy on me thanks to a trip to my naturopath. She researched a homeopathic remedy for my asthma and allergies that did wonders. I also cleaned up my diet following a cleanse diet (no soy, wheat, corn, etc…) that was amazing. I kept my diet quite clean for many months but then slipped into old habits (fried foods, not enough green vegetables and fruits) and I think it has had an effect on my overall health including my breathing. I think a trip to see her again might be in order. It might not do anything for my immediate situation (my allergies should be fine by mid June), but I would like to think ahead for next year. - I went dress shopping today. A friend invited me to a dress-up event. I looked at my closet and decided I wanted to wear something new. I have not gone dress shopping in ages and realized that I had mixed feelings about it. I do enjoy fashion, but do not like to waste money on trends that will disappear in a month. There are lots of short satin dresses in style right now and I was not sure if they would suit my shape (small on top – medium on the bottom). In the end I found a few dresses that fit me well and I was quite happy when I left the store having purchased two of them. They are a bit trendy, but I think they work for me. One was fashion forward with some elements seen on recent red carpets and the other was more classic. It was a good compromise. - During tonight’s little shopping adventure I made a stop at the Aveda store. My favourite perfume is from the their now discontinued Chakra line (#5 Creativity). Well, they have re-launched it, but it is not quite the same. My favourite did not smell the same. I was a little bummed, but feeling adventurous so I decided to go through their special process for choosing the right scent for you. I ended up with #3 Intention. It smells less sexy than my old one but it has some nice energizing elements to it which I liked very much. We will see if it helps balance me, smell good or a combination of the two. <grin> Week of May 12th, 2008 Today was a bit of a food focused day. I started it off with my usual breakfast of oatmeal with raisins and freshly ground flax and pumpkin seeds. I think the healthy carbs inspired me in a domestic way because I spent the next 20 minutes scrubbing the bath tub and cleaning the bathroom. Afterwards, I went for a little shopping excursion. I bought some lovely products at an organic shop (home-made scented candles and soaps) and a bunch of vegetables to make some meals from a book I bought from an acne advice website. The simplicity of the meals and the advice really appeals to me and following the guidelines in the book seems to have a positive impact on my skin and my overall well being. Then it was time for lunch. I hit some of my standards for this meal. I had some butternut squash soup (from Imagine), some sautéed Kale (with dried chilli pepper, garlic, black olives and raisins) and a tofu scramble (with spinach, mushrooms, sun-dried tomatoes and yellow pepper). For supper I made a recipe from the Clear Skin book – a red Thai curry. I was super easy. I just had to chop up some vegetables (cauliflower, sweet potato, red pepper, sweet green beans, and onion) and throw them into some gently simmering coconut milk that I had already mixed with some red Thai curry paste. Once the vegetables were a little soft I added a squeeze of lime juice and some tamari and served it with some steamed brown rice. I did have to do a little switch up though. James went to the grocery store to get some coconut milk but they had moved it and he could not find it. James does not cook so he is not familiar with the difference between certain products so he came back with a staff recommendation – coconut cream. It seems the staff does not cook either because that stuff is not coconut milk. Its used for making Pina Coladas. Oh dear. A little unsweetened soymilk was used as a replacement. It still turned out great. Live
Webcam Show Tonight! Tuesday
May 13th Walking
in Someone’s Shoes By Wheeling in Them Today was one of those up and running days. I had taken some Benadryl the night before (seasonal allergies seem to hit me at night). It stops the symptoms and makes me sleepy. Waking up in the morning can be a bit of a struggle. It started that way this morning. I got up to pee. The cat saw me. Meowing began (well, her version of it). I fed the kitty. Then I sat at my computer and contemplated what I had to do today. My dear friend was to spend the day in a wheelchair to raise money for a local resource and service organization to those with mobility issues. I was going to document it. When I groggily remembered this I got a call from her to say she needed some band-aids. She was off wheeling herself to her favourite coffee shop and she had forgotten her gloves and her sunglasses. Her thumbs were a mess. Seska to the rescue. So I purchased for her some first aid goodies and made my way via Metro to her destination. Then for the next 6 hours I went with her through out parts of the city to take photos and video of her as she experienced what it was like in the wheelchair. I am so proud of her for what she accomplished. I think most people who do the event do not do it outside, taking public transportation, hitting the streets, going to the mall, etc.. Some don’t last more than hour. Many do it in their office buildings. She did it in a pretty open and cool way, always thinking if why she was doing it (a family member goes to the centre) and being ever so thankful her legs and knowing she would be able to leave the wheelchair behind at the end of the day. I got much the same lesson and was happy to be a part of this important experience. A long, delightful night. A bit intense at times. He was in a mixed up headspace. I was in a bit of one too. Both of us dealing with vulnerabilities. Both of us realizing we need to have boundaries and figuring out how establish them, maintain them, defend them. Funny though, we are very good about having them with each other. Open, considerate. Not wanting to assume anything. And then there was the sex. It was a bit different than the previous times. He was a bit different. I felt different too. The headspace was likely part of it. Stuff that has happened to us in the past few months. I did not feel so driven by an insatiable hunger. I was more relaxed. Comfortable. I did things I have not done in a while. I showed him a side of myself I had not shown him before. A side I had not expressed in some time. A side I show only a few select people. In the morning we spoke about our friendship. It is important to me. I like talking to him. I like hearing what he has to say. He’s smart and funny. I like smart and funny. The friends with benefits things intrigues me. Never really done it before. I think for it to work for me the friends part has to come first. Making the benefits part too predictable or restrictive does not appeal to me. Not to him either. Still, I am thinking of things I want him to do to me, of things I want to do to him, and of things we could do together. The distracting morning after kind of thoughts. But I am not assuming anything. I have learned that lesson. Thank you Universe. Week of May 19th, 2008 I am off by myself on another little business trip (mainstream website design and networking stuff) and it has me reflecting on how I find myself quite content doing my own thing. I realize that I have grown to become a fairly independent person. I am also realizing that I am not one of those people who cannot be alone, who requires another presence in the room to feel comfortable or to feel validated or to be entertained (or to have them there in order to entertain them). I like my privacy and my solitude. When working out of town on business I need to be “on” in a social way and that can tire me. When I am done I want some peace and quiet. I want to chill. I want to putter around my room naked while eating some fruit. Sure, there are moments when I feel a little stir crazy. That is when I head down to the hotel bar and flirt with cute waiters and bartenders. This trip I have a little crush on one in particular. Will I approach him for fling? Likely not. Hotels have rules against staff fraternizing with guest. Still my imagination is running wild. Tres wild. Of course, there are times during such trips when I need some familiarity. I like to call James once a day to check in. Today I called and could hear Miss Mew on the other end. It seems since I am gone she is focusing all of her attention on him, following him around the apartment, and jumping on his lap for affection. It made me miss them both a little more than I already had. Yet, I am still quite happy to be doing this ‘on my own thing’. It clears my head in a way that usual stress releaser do not. It is the distance and the solitude I think. Week of May 26th, 2008 I am sorry I did not write much last week. I was out of town for some business meetings and the week carried me away with its busyness. It started off slow because I arrived during the holiday weekend. It made for a weird experience. I was in downtown Calgary. When it is not business hours it is so quiet. I looked out my hotel room and I saw so few people on the street and no cars. The free street car was closed for repairs and there was an announcement made on a speaker about it that I could barely understand. It felt like I was in a zombie movie – where the city had been evacuated long ago and the message was still on repeat. The few people milling about seemed lost and forlorn. Definitely surreal. But then Tuesday came and things got busy on the street (lots of traffic and people in their business suits) and busy for me (meetings and such). Between the work stuff I was a little preoccupied with my travel mate. She is a new friend who stayed in the same hotel with me. She kept getting in touch with me to see if we could hang out. I was not so much interested in it. After being so social for the meetings I wanted to chill out by myself. I was not up for entertaining anyone or being entertained. I tried to tell her that and I think she got it, but I also think her nature is such that she struggled with the solitude. So what a pair we made! Now, I am home and I get back to my normal routine. I have caught up on my email. I still have a bunch of laundry to do and some website projects to work on. Not sure what I will do first, but based on my past behaviours I think it will not be laundry. Live
Webcam Show Tonight! Tuesday
May 27th I am looking forward to tonight show for a variety of reasons and the main one is I just adore having sex on camera with my husband. I have a feeling tonight’s show will be particularly playful. I think when people think of why they have partnered sex they stick to the physical (the sense of release and pleasure) or the romantic motivations (love and bonding), but for me, and I believe for many others, the reasons for having sex are not so simplistic. The reasons are darker, deeper, rawer, more emotional and more psychological. Here is a list of some of my motivations for having partnered sex. Sometimes some of them overlap and sometimes they stand on their own. It feels
good. I am sure there are more, but it's a start. Add yours to the comments. Tomorrow I have the last burlesque show for May. It has been a busy month that way. June will be a bit quieter on that front. The summer usually is. Still, I will have quite a bit to do as I am trying something new. I am in a play at the Montreal Fringe Festival. It is called The Dragpiper. It is something an acquaintance wrote about his experiences of hitchhiking across Northern Ontario in drag. The play is a bit comedic but it has its serious moments too. We started rehearsals a couple of weeks ago. I have a small part which is exactly what I wanted. It is part cameo and part actual character. It is just the right size for this stage in my performing process. I have no desire to make acting any kind of career, but I do enjoy performing as a hobby and acting seems to have evolved from that. Another part of the hobby. So far it has been fun and interesting. A little scary too. In fact, to help me spread my wings a little more (and shake things up) I am taking a an acting workshop that focuses on using your intuition. It is being held by a woman I really like and respect so I feel like she will create a safe space for me to explore and experiment. This is something I have mixed feelings about, but I do know for me to take risks it helps to feel comfortable with failing – not judged or pushed. I can finally breathe. No, this does not have to do with my asthma. It has to do with being extremely busy with burlesque gigs. I had one right before my trip (a trio number with team Burlesque members Miss Sugarpuss and L. Diablo), then one the night I got back (a solo one as part of a private workshop show), and then another last night (an extended series of numbers with my Team Burlesque friends). These opportunities were just too good to miss so I did the shows. They were are a success in their own way. The first was a beatnik number about Miss Sugarpuss, L. Diablo and me on the lam (what for – we will explore that in a future Serial Burlesque shows we think). We decide that no one will find us at a beatnik festival. Of course, we make the worst beatniks and all sorts of burlesque occurs. It was really quite fun. The second was a bit of a flop. It had sad overtones and I found I did not do sad well. The comedic moments were well received, but I didn’t push the sexy or facial expressions enough. It was a learning process and I will rework it because I think it has potential. The third was another burlesque adventure for Miss Sugarpuss, L. Diablo and me. This time we go on vacation. I announce I am a pilot and I will make the flight plan. My number had me in the cutest green dress looking at a huge map, playing with a paper airplane and then undresses and putting on some very sexy pilot gear. I need to tighten the choreography and I think it will be a strong number. Then the story continues with Miss Sugarpuss hastily packing. Of course, she brings along all sorts of inappropriate things ‘just in case’ and she cannot close her suitcase. L. Diablo? Well, she has disappeared. The next scene opens with me in a fantastic explorer outfit complete with pith helmet. I am reading about the wonders of Egypt. There is a statue behind me (hint – it’s L. Diablo). I read about how we should not disturb the jewels of the sacred temple or it will unleash a horrible curse. Of course, Miss Sugarpuss comes in wearing all the jewels. She ignores me and removes an amulet from the statue. I am furious and turn my back to her. The statue comes alive and Miss Sugarpuss tries to get my attention. I am peeved and I ignore her. Finally, I do turn around and I am shocked. The statue has magical powers. She is able to freeze us and make us do as she wishes. She makes us strip and dance. At the end of the song we are left topless with our pasties, frozen in a pose. We slowly relax and are able to move. We declare that it was a weird experience. I didn’t like being frozen. Miss Sugarpuss neither. Then L. Diablo pops in behind us and says in a very voice – Me Neither. We are startled, afraid. We scream and run out. Then L. Diablo does an extremely sexy belly dance inspired number as the statue fully awakened. Afterwards, we all gather together and have very differing opinions of this vacation. Miss Sugarpuss loved all the ‘shopping’ (she still has the jewels), I enjoyed the sights, and then we turn to L. Diablo asking where she was. She makes a crack about staying at home – wink wink. |
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