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What's fresh and new in the life and work of Seska Lee. Week of December 3rd, 2007 Christmas
Card From Seska Update: All five cards have been taken. Thank you to those who sent in their requests. I will be sending the cards out by the end of the week. I have a little holiday treat for my members. If you would like a personalized Christmas pin-up card featuring me on the cover, please send me your mailing address (an appropriate one for receiving a card from a porn gal like me) and I will send one your way. I only have 5 available to send so it is first come first served and you must have an active membership in order to receive one. Please include your username and the email you used at sign-up so I can verify your account.
It is taking me a while to get moving today. I cannot seem to focus. I have to get out of the house today (I will be going to the sexual health clinic to get my yearly Pap test and STI testing), so hopefully the fresh air will do me some good. While I am waiting to be seen I am going to re-read Dr. Neal Barnard’s book Breaking the Food Seduction (I love his books and recipes!!!). I need to get back on track with my eating and exercise routine. I think what I have been doing lately is counter to what works best for me and my hormones. For some reason I have been terribly lazy about cooking lately and have been doing the grain + soy thing again - hardly any vegetables and fruit. It soothes me, but make me sluggish. Not a productive combination. Not wise nutritionaly either. I am going to plan out some healthy, balanced menus for the next month and get back on track. Double up on my exercise as well. I know when I make good choices in those departments I feel so much better and have so much more energy. Tonight is a webcam show night. I promise I will be energized for that. While I may be a little out of sorts, my libido is not. I am looking forward to using my vibrators as well as sexing things up with James. Been thinking about that (and few other sexual inspirations) since early yesterday.
The
Importance of Getting Tested for Sexually Transmitted Infections Yesterday in my blog I mentioned that I was going for my regular STI (sexually transmitted infection) testing. I go every three to six months depending on how sexually active I have been and how many partners I have been with. I mention it because it is a part of my life and I think it should be a part of yours too. I think everyone who is sexually active should get tested – even if you are in a monogamous relationship (got lots to say about cheating, but will save it for another entry). Besides mentioning it in my blog I am very open and forward about discussing STI testing with the people I have sex with. When it is a conversation with other porn performers like myself, people who work for themselves outside of the mainstream business in California, we discuss it matter-a-factly. Some people come with test results to shoots. I know I like to present my results when I can. Of course, these test results could be forged and they only reflect a certain moment in time. To be more accurate I’d have to get tested after one sexual encounter and then abstain from sex until I got the results and then put the cycle on repeat. Not really a doable thing – especially during a conference in Las Vegas where many indie porn performers gather to shoot content over the course of 5 days (one of the reasons I do not shoot a lot of content at these kinds of events). Still, getting tested and speaking about it with your fellow performers does demonstrate that you have a certain concern over your well-being and theirs. I appreciate that. The other thing that we are all quite good about is condom use. Unlike nearly all of the performers in the mainstream porn business, most of the people in my circle use condoms consistently for vaginal and anal intercourse (I even use them for oral if I am working with a solo male performer). Condoms plus testing goes a long way in keeping you healthy and safe. Some people choose only one. I choose both. Now, when I have sex with civilians (my little pet term for people outside of the sex industry), the topic of STIs is treated differently. Not by me, but by them. When I tell a lover how often I get tested and what I get tested for (HIV, Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, and Syphilis. I have been vaccinated for Hepatitis A and B - the B strain can be transmitted through sexual contact) they tend to respond with the comment ‘of course, given your work you should get tested’. In part this is true. Sex is my work so I cannot afford to get a STI. But, really who does? The funny thing is I probably have had fewer sexual partners in the past two years than my civilian lovers. I also am probably their only sex partner of the past two years who has been tested regularly and for more than just HIV. When I asked them if they had been tested the best I have heard is that they have been tested for HIV once or twice in their life. Hearing that does concern me, but I also feel good about myself for being consistent with condom use and my STI testing. I am taking care of myself. I wish they would do the same. Thinking they are not at risk, that they are immune, because they have sex outside of the sex industry is a fallacy. And putting off testing over fear of the results is just plain dangerous. I spoke to my doctor about this yesterday. I told him about my sex with civilians (something new to me, by the way) and shared with him my observations about their lack of knowledge about STIs and testing. He is on the front lines of sexual health in Montreal and is very well informed about the current state of sexual conduct. He confirmed with me that many people are clueless about STIs and how their behaviour puts them at risk. People assume it is only gay men, druggies and whores who have STIs. Not true. You cannot tell if someone is ‘clean’ from looking at them or some label assigned to them. Often people do not even know they are infected with a STI. There are many young people, as well as older people, who are poorly informed about the realities of STIs, the risks, the ways they can protect themselves and the importance of getting tested. Those of us who came to age during the initial HIV/AIDS crisis are doing a bit better. We are used to using condoms and we know the basic facts about HIV/AIDS. Still, there is room for improvement. There is more to STIs than HIV. Condoms are not perfect. Using various barrier methods for acts besides intercourse can help. While abstaining as an option is not realistic for most adults, being selective about your sexual practices can be. With that all in mind, getting tested is so significant. It can help you track things early on which helps you deal with it in a timely manner and from preventing the transmission of the STI(s) to someone else. If safer sex is of interest to you (and it should be), I suggest you check out Violet Blue’s Safer Sex Guide. It is a free download that you can read through on your computer or load up on your mobile device. If you are in the province of Quebec you can contact your local CLSC for information about STI testing. Not all clinics offer the testing, but they can refer you to one that does. In Toronto there is the Hassle Free Clinic. Planned Parenthood clinics are also good options – Canada / USA. Noun 1. intense sexual
desire or appetite. Verb 6. to have intense
sexual desire. "lust." Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1). Random House, Inc. 06 Dec. 2007. <Dictionary.com http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/lust>. I definitely got it. For someone in particular. For certain activities with someone in particular. Meow.
Video
Blog - Late
Night Flyering Last night I went out with Luci Furr to flyer for the upcoming burlesque show she is producing, A Nearly Naked Noël, and that we are both starring in (along with a huge cast of other burlesquers, dancers, singers and other performers). The video is a short one as it was quite cold outside and I was little distracted by the people passing by. And as for the hope I expressed at the end of the video - I did as I had hoped. Good for me!
Video
Blog - Open Relationship Musings Last night, while out on the town, I decided to shoot another video blog. This time I chatted about my relationship with James and people's concerns for him when I get involved with other people.
Week of December 10th, 2007 I have had a slow moving morning. I woke up after only 5 or so hours of sleep and tossed and turned. I think it was because I was waiting for James to come to bed. He has been going to bed even later than usual and it is messing with body clock, I think. When he finally did come to bed I was alert enough to have a conversation. This is very different than the times he goes to bed a couple of hours earlier. I am typically Miss Mumble Pants. Often in French. This time as he lay in bed, after I told him I missed him, I listened to his breathing change and I occasionally stretched my arm or leg out so I could touch him gently. Then I settled back into my own sleep after he had settled into his. The sleep I got was decent. I had my usual morning dreams which were interesting and enjoyable. Yet, when I woke up feeling like I had not slept enough. The middle of the ‘night’ experience of wakefulness was not good. I need to get back to my old patterns. James needs to come to bed 3 or so hours earlier and let me have my proper amount and pattern of REM sleep.
That might sound like I am angry with him. Not at all. Just the normal differences that occur in our marriage. Some things become habits. Certain individual quirks, needs, preferences are priorities. Others are not. There is give and take. We compromise. Always seeking a balance. Some sort of equilibrium as we are two very different people living together. How we sleep together is one of those things. The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. - This Week’s Picks - Body
Image In Art, Porn & Media The
Importance of Getting Tested for Sexually Transmitted Infections When
Natural Doesn’t Feel Natural at All - Mr. Sugasm Himself
- - Editor’s
Choice - Live
Webcam Show Tonight Quick little note to let you know I will be doing my weekly live webcam show tonight. 9PM EST on Sex Cam Central. I'll be wearing sexy stockings and my glasses.
A Nearly Naked Noël is tonight. If you are in Montreal I very much encourage you to come otu to see me in this amazing holiday extravagnaza. Full cast rehearsals were on Sunday and I got to see the other numbers. Just fabulous. So much fun! It is at Café Campus (57 Prince Arthur) and tickets are $15. Doors are at 7pm and the show begins at 8pm.
The burlesque show was a success. The turn out was very good and it was such a pleasure working with all the fabulous performers. It inspires me to be around such talented people. And they are all so fun and silly too. They ‘get’ me which is great thing to experience as a performer who likes to do wacky things. They are wacky too! Yesterday I took it easy. I got up early even though I had a late night out. My body just sticks to its clock no matter what time I go to bed. Of course once the afternoon rolled around I was in need of a nap. I definitely needed some shut eye. Afterwards, I went for a long walk and ran some errands. The evening was spent with James on the couch watching Survivor and then the Saturday Night Live Christmas special. I was in bed by 11:15pm. Today I am going to work with my photographer friend on updating her various networking profiles and then in the evening we will be doing a photoshoot. She has a special camera for the weekend so she wanted to test it out on me. I think I will model some fetish outfits I have and go for a bombshell look. It is just an experiment and I expect we will have fun playing around with the look. It is a rare thing for me but I have it as of late. It is 5:15am and I have been up, feeling restless, since 4:40am. I have had this for a few days now. I blame James and the hours he keeps. I lie in bed expecting him to come join me and cannot fall into deep sleep until I know he is beside me. This is nothing new but the insomnia is so it cannot really be that. Maybe it has to do with the state of my sexual arousal. It is in the high zone due to lust. It has been 13 days since I fooled around with my latest crush / lover / not really available dude. I have been feeling antsy again and would like to see him before Christmas and all the family stuff begins. Now, if someone were to ask me what they should do if they were in my shoes, I’d say take things into your own hands. Masturbation is such a good way to deal with sexual tension. Very good in theory, but not really doable for some reason if you are me. I get too distracted to masturbate. My mind wanders and I can only make it so far. This further turns me on, but I am also annoyed. A horrible mix. I need some sort of outside stimulation. I think some Net porn would help out, but I’d have to look at it in the office with James behind me playing his WOW. Hearing all the battle cries and the silly character speech (‘what business have you?), not to mention the very dramatic music – well, it would not be conducive to my mood. Guess, I’ll have to go with my old standby - go read some Outlander and use that as my porn. At least Jamie Fraser is available. Inspired by persistent and common questions I get during webcam shows I decided to make a little video blog entry about the topic of cock size.
Windows Media 14.1mb - 2:48min Week of December 17th, 2007 End
Violence Against Sex Workers Today is the International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers. I will be joining the sex worker rights and resource group STELLA in a Red Umbrella March to honour those whose lives have been lost and to speak out against the violence and discrimination that sex workers face due to criminalization, stigma and hypocrisy. Here is a little information about the day and why it is important. Sex workers face a disproportionate amount of violence due to current prostitution laws that criminalize sex workers, leaving us void of police protection. The current law on prostitution and the manner in which it is applied put sex workers' lives in danger by legitimizing and perpetuating abuse and violence against women. While the Canadian government is spending massive amounts of money and resources to eliminate prostitution, the criminalization that occurs as a result of these laws and application, prevents sex workers from accessing social protection. This criminalization, among other things, explains why sex workers are too often exploited, beaten, raped and killed. In Canada, an enormous number of sex workers have been murdered, and we believe that it is time for this kind of violence to stop. Commemoration to
end violence against sex workers was an initiative started by The Significance of the Red Umbrella March The red umbrella
was used by sex workers of Venice Italy in 2002 as a symbol of beauty
and the Here is the speech I will be giving during today’s march. It was written by two of my friend s who work for Stella based on some conversation we have had. I will be giving the speech in French. We have chosen this spot, in front of Sexe Mania, as one symbol of the sex industry. This strip club is, to some of us a workplace. To some, it is a place of leisure and entertainment. To others, it is often a symbol of oppression. Its existence tells the story of our society's hypocrisy towards sex work and towards sex workers. We live in a society that feeds itself economically on the sexualization and beauty of women, but rejects the idea of women in the industry. Outside of these doors sex workers are rejected and frowned upon by members of our society, anti-prostitution feminists, and others who judge that sex work is degrading. These images and stereotypes constitute a daily oppression that is imposed on sex workers. This oppression is often deliberate and, at other times, an unconscious systematic oppression that is perpetuated by the images and discourse around sex work that go unchallenged. This includes the degrading language that pervades formal and institutionalized settings and political discourses around sex work, including unconscious everyday remarks and language in reference to sex work. We, sex workers, experience this as an invisibilization, degradation, and outright dismissal of our existence and our work. It contributes to a stigma of sex workers and reproduces itself as harsh working conditions and subsequent violence in the workplace. Members of our society have a huge role to play in the reduction of the stigma that perpetuates this violence. Because sex workers are constantly oppressed by the attitudes of certain groups of people, sex workers are often hesitant to reveal themselves, and instead keep themselves in isolation, and are prevented from accessing health and secure services: like police protection, sufficient medical care, and ability to move freely within and across borders. Over the past 20 years in Canada, at least, we have lost sex workers to violence and many others have been and continue to be discriminated against in everyday environments and common exchanges. Sex workers are working and living in the shadows of our societies because our societies have not rightfully granted the same respect and dignity to sex workers that they offer to their recognized groups. It is every individual's responsibility to ensure the protection of their communities, sex workers are part of these communities. To this end, we invite you to fill our these postcards to our MPs, demanding safe working spaces for sex workers. Yesterday was an intense day from beginning to end. Attending the march was an emotional experience as it always is. I cried (like I always do) when I heard how a certain serial killer (I don’t feel like typing out his name today) said he targeted prostitutes because he knew society did not care for them and nobody would notice them missing. I had a huge lump in my throat most of the time as we stopped in the very spots where women work and face unsafe working conditions, where sex workers have been murdered and where police have proclaimed that they are on the ‘hunt for prostitutes’. We gathered around together to speak out against these things and to remember those workers who have been robbed, who have been beaten, who have been raped, and who have been murdered. We cried out into the night that La Violence Ne Fait Pas Partie de Ma Job! (Violence is not a necessary part of my job!) Definitely a moving experience. The rest of the intensity followed after a quiet evening with James. I have typed it all out and have realized that it more suited for a members-only journal entry. A little too raw, personal and requires a little discretion on my part to protect other people’s privacy. That might sound a bit alarmist. The night was fine. I am fine but it was a weird night and one that I think may have solidified a friendship. Going through weirdness can do that, I think. And on that slightly cryptic note, let me totally change the subject. I will be doing my annual Christmas themed webcam show tonight. I’ll be wearing my red velvet dress and some festive undies as always. I’ll be singing carols as I get fucked. And I will be laughing a lot. Good times.
Yesterday was a very long day. I got up early and packed up a bag full of lingerie and headed out into the blistering cold for a pin-up shoot. After the success of her Christmas Card Pin-ups my friend AH is creating a set of Valentine’s Day ones and asked me to model for them. The shoot went longer than expected. There were no major mess-ups but we all seemed to be moving a little slow. I had hoped to go home and freshen up after my shoot but instead I had some pizza and then I went off with AH to a small artist market type evening being held by a group called Indyish where we sold some of the Christmas cards. It was an enjoyable evening. I had a pint of beer and we chatted with folks and each other. There was live music in the next room – with a fantastic choir being a highlight for me. By 11 o-clock though my body was feeling the length of the day. Well, actually my eyes were. I still had on my false eyelashes and they were making eyes itch. I would not be able to take them off until I got home so I just focused on other things. I ended up having a pretty terrific conversation with a gal who had interviewed me for a community theatre project a while back. A beautiful gal with such presence and personality to her. Definitely hope I can stay in touch with her. I’d love it if we could be friends. Ah girl crush moment! Speaking of crushes – I
got a text from a crush of mine. Out of the blue. He is coming to
town. We will see what ensues. I have had mixed results in the past.
Whatever it will be I think it will be good content for my memoirs
and build some character.
Last night I had a corporate gig. I was ready on time and then I could not get through to a taxi company. I called and called and then gave up. I took a chance and ran down the street to hail one. Thankfully, there were a few driving by and I was able to get to the venue for the gig. A little late and feeling rather rushed, but still with enough time to prepare my costume for the performance (with the help of the other performer, The Fabulous Miss Vigneault ,and our mutual friend Dom who got us the gig).. The gig was at a marketing firm’s Christmas party. The crowd was good. They certainly had been imbibing. Thankfully, they were not too rowdy. Just lively. I did a balloon popping strip to Santa Bring My Baby Back to Me by Elvis Presley. It was well received and fun to do. I had a big smile on my face as I popped my balloons and then stripped down to my panties and funny holiday pasties. Afterwards, I hung out with Miss Vigneault and Dom. We drank a little and danced a little. We also talked shop. I had a really good time. Then at around midnight I texted my crush and then he texted back. I decided to pursue the situation. When things were arranged I went running frantically in my heels down the street looking for a cab. I am sure for the scenesters of St-Laurent Blvd. I was quite the sight. I made it to his place in one piece and with some decorum to boot. Glad I did end up hooking up with him. This guy may be hard to pin down, but once he is there, he is really there. Pressed against a propped up ironing board. Three bags of flour behind it on a shelf. Darkness surrounds us except for a sliver of light coming through the window of the door. I kiss her lips and feel her warmth. Her hands on my hips. I caress her shoulders. She opens her mouth to me. I delicately brush my lips on her neck, her collar bone, down to her breast. I push the material of her dress aside and lick her nipple and take it into my mouth, making it hard with my tongue. She moans a little as do I. I hope I can see her again. Week of December 24th, 2007 Happy holidays everyone! I am off to the burbs to spend Christmas with my family. I'll be back to regular blogging on the 26th. Until then take care of yourselves and enjoy the season! Here is a seasonal photo that I posed for. It was used as this year's Christmas card by the STELLA team.
PS - For this week and next my Tuesday night webcam show has been moved to Thursday at 7pm Eastern on Sex Cam Central. The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. - This Week’s Picks - Fighting
The Dominatrix Stereotype From
afar Steely
Dan* - Mr. Sugasm Himself
- - Editor’s
Choice - I am back. I had a wonderful time with my family. I ate way too much with the typical consequences of heartburn, tummy aches and all sorts of gassiness. Time for some simple eating and some gentle exercises to get me back on track and back to feeling like myself. I am also dealing with another head cold. I have had such a runny nose. Thankfully, though my sinuses and ears feel fine. I do not think I can handle another earache. After a very busy fall, I think it is my body giving me the signal to take things easy for a bit. Yesterday James and I watched some movies that were playing on TV and I did a bunch of laundry. It was a very nice domestic day. I feel a few more of those coming on as I sit surrounded by piles of magazines that need to be recycled and boxes of papers that need to be filed. I have been meaning to take care of these types of things for months, but my burlesque activities and site work have kept me busy. January is a long month with few obligations and events planned so I am thinking I will be able to tackle the office clutter once and for all. I need to run some errands today. I have to return some old fashioned panties to AH. I used them for the number I did at Diary of a Lost Circus. I also need to go pay my Bay bill and pick up some glitter at LUSH. They have this gold glitter bar that I love, but it is only available during the holidays. Hopefully, they have not run out of it. Then I will come home and get ready for tonight’s webcam show. It is on a special day and time because of the holidays. Hopefully you can tune in. I won’t be singing this time. <grin> Audio
Smut Needs You! Our next radio show is on January 2nd and we will be discussing a few different things. Some about the past and some about the future. This where you come in. We need people’s sexual new year’s resolutions. How do you do this? Just send us an e-mail listing your resolutions or get fancy and send us an mp3! Use that mic on your computer, record your voice (or however you wanna do it). Get your stuff into us by Monday December 31st! Please send to: a@licketysplitzine.com. Or leave them in the comments section of this entry. Thanks! Audio Smut is a radio show based in Montreal that looks at sex from all angles: educational, political, cultural and kinky. Tune in the first Wednesday of every month from 6-7pm on CKUT 90,3 FM. Audio Smut is one of four shows that air during the Hersay hour. To listen on-line and download past shows visit ckut.ca. Week of December 31st, 2007 It is the end of 2007. I am a nostalgic person and various cycles of life - such as the end of the calendar year, the first day of school, the beginning of spring - inspire me to reminisce. I am definitely in that frame of mind. I feel like 2007 was a year were I took chances and sought out different sexual experiences. I released myself from the expectation of limiting myself to on-camera adventures and felt a little more free to follow my heart and my desires. I made some amazing connections and had some incredible experiences with thoughtful, passionate lovers. There were also bumps along the way - disappointments and frustrations. It seems it was either an explosion of chemistry or encounters that lacked it all together. You don’t have to guess which I preferred and which I am committed to for 2008.
I went for an awesome run yesterday. My first more-than-5k in a while. I ran 8k. It felt like more though. Some areas were quite slushy and I was slow going because of it. Still, my lungs were fine, even on the hills. I enjoyed being out and physical instead of indoors and drunkish (not that I don’t enjoy that from time to time – just not in the mood for that just right now). I also enjoyed the beauty of the evening. The clouds were clearing to expose a dark blue sky which by the end of my run was full of stars. Well, as many as one can see in the city. Just lovely. I came home pretty exhausted and took a hot bath which left me rather sleepy. I pushed myself to stay up to midnight to give James a new year’s kiss and to send some text messages to my family, to Joe and to Sophie (who I have been feeling pretty mushy about – more on that another time). Then I went to bed. I wore some earplugs because my upstairs neighbour was playing some music with some heavy bass. I read some (re-reading Voyager by Diana Gabaldon yet again) and then slept rather well. Today I had a bit of an easy day. I read some more (200 more pages of my book). James and I watched the Georges St-Pierre UFC fight (awesome). After James made the crack that if I ever were to get into the Octagon the only competitor I could face would be a kitten. Ha ha James. I made some vegan chocolate cupcakes (only ate 1 – good restraint). I went for another run (the slowest 3k ever – sidewalks are not yet paved). Now I am done for the day. I need a bath and to wash my hair. Hope I find the energy. Goals
for the New Year Radio Show Today! Co-host
for Audio Smut A few of my friends have been posting about their new year’s resolutions on their websites. I have also called out to my readers to send me theirs (their sexual ones that is - for Audio Smut, the radio show I am a part of. By the way, why so quiet folks? I only received a couple of them from you. Bummer.) Just as I like to look back during this time of year, I also like to look forward. This time of year is filled with moments of looking back and looking forward. I think it might be due to my background as an educator, but I really get off on setting goals and making plans. I find it is so important to do more than just resolve to do something. You need to also figure how you will make it happen, break it down into manageable steps and decide how you will measure your progress. Right now I have a sense of what I want to do for myself this year – the things I want to accomplish professionally and personally. But they are still a little vague in my mind. Over the next few days I am going to brainstorm, make some decisions and then make a concrete plan with a yardstick of sorts to measure my progress and success. Once I am done with that I am going to share my plan with you as well as post it somewhere in my home so I can refer to it regularly. I feel a bit of satisfaction already. Live
Webcam Show Tonight!
Special Day & Time! Thursday
January 3rd I had a productive Friday. I updated my Seskuality blog with a sex work themed post – there is a neat article of recommendations for how queers can be allies to sex workers. I also archived a bunch of Seskuality posts in my members area. I updated my burlesque sites – Seska at Coral Lees and Team Burlesque. I sent off some emails to Team Burlesque members for a benefit cabaret I am organizing as a fundraiser for the Montreal Vagina Monologues. In the evening I got together my friend AH to discuss various photography projects I am assisting her with as well brainstormed for a big one we’d like to do in the future. Very exciting stuff. - James seems to have caught a cold. It could be the one I had over the holidays. He is taking it easy right now. Lying on the couch while a Habs hockey game is on the TV. He really is quite miserable when he is sick. I wonder if I am as much trouble. I think I can be. Though the last cold I just pummelled my way through it as I had so much to do – it being the holidays and all. - Had a sex dream about a fellow I know/have been with this past year. Have not heard from him in a bit. Made me want to see how he is doing. Besides the sex, in the dream we also did laundry. Kind of funny in the light of day. |
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