Week of January 2nd, 2006

Video Clips
06-01-02

We shot some video clips on Sunday. Usually James picks the camera angles, but this time I chose a few. Of course, we do get carried away sometimes and forget the angles which leads to great fun, but not necessarily the best video clips. One of the last one's we did was in a modified version of my favourite sex position with James. I lie on my back and he does me on his side. It is really excellent for clit rubbing. However, we have always found it a challenge to film this position on our own. We were able to get it by getting down on the floor and positioning the camera on a fully extended tripod. Now that I know we can do it this way I hope we shoot this position some more!

We also shot a close up of James licking my clit. I know some men do not like to see an emphasis on a man's face during porn, but oral sex performed by a man is a nice thing to see. I do not find it very common, but it is a great part of partnered sex so I like to include it in my content. After all, my site is about my sex life and fantasies not just catering to what some folks want to see. Perhaps if they see more genuine female pleasure induced by men, both men and women will broaden their fantasy life and have more satisfying partnered sex of their own.

Vegas Preparations
06-01-03

I am in packing mode. My dining room table is covered with neat piles of clothes. I am very systematic when it comes to packing and traveling. I also am incredibly neat. I try to keep my hotel room as tidy as possible. All my clothes get placed in the drawers or closet. My make-up and beauty products are placed on the vanity. Everything has its place.

I find that since I have a limited amount of stuff and my time in a specific living space is limited I can easily handle keeping things neat. Plus, there is no laundry to do and no kitchen to deal with. When I do not deal with dirty dishes or piles of laundry my life and space is much more enjoyable.

In my every day life I am not so organized. Well, I am organized with my time but not my things. Our apartment is small and we have very small closets so we live in a perpetual state of clutter. Things have improved since I got a handmade wood cedar lined trunk for my bedding and towels. Now I would like to get a large wardrobe for my costumes and work clothes. That would open up some space in the closets for other things. Maybe by this spring. I need to find the right one.

But back to the preparations. When I pack I make a list of what I need based on the days I am gone. For this trip I need three types of outfits. One for the day when I work at the Homegrown Video booth; a second for evening when I go out for supper and cocktails; a third for when I shoot (lingerie and pretty things). This time I also need a cocktail dress for the AVN Awards. This is my first time attending. James has a nice suit for the occasion. I will be wearing a long slip style dress. I am a wee bit worried that we will be overdressed because based on the photos of past events some people attend wearing jeans and t-shirt. That is the adult industry for you. In terms of the women the starlets tend to wear what you would expect porn stars to wear. It is a little too "slow dance stripper number" for me. My taste tends to run preppy for day, simple classic for night. I have a few glitzy, tacky outfits, which can be fun to wear, but as I get older I feel best in classic pieces with a bit of a retro touch.

I plan on taking pictures through out the week. Hopefully, I will have the time to blog while I am gone. If I can't during the week I will post a full report when I get back.

First Few Days in Las Vegas
06-01-06

Well, we made it to Las Vegas. Wednesday was a long travel day. Our first flight was delayed but that was OK because we had a three-hour wait for our next one. Due to the delay that wait was split into two. The first flight was quick and pleasant enough considering we were seated in last row of the airplane. The second one not so much. We were seated in different rows – both of us in the middle seat of three. I am small so I managed fine but James at 6 feet tall was very uncomfortable for the five-hour flight. He says it was the worst flight of his life. Poor guy.

When we arrived the Homegrown Video crew was out for supper so we checked into our room and unpacked. We each took a quick shower and freshened up. That was nice. Actually, it was very nice because we have a double shower so we can shower together. Then we hooked up with the gang and I got to catch up with the lovely Stefanie, Homegrown Video’s webmaster. She has the room next to ours so we can open the adjoining doors and hang out. Coolness. I take pleasure in small things.

On Thursday we got our badge passes. It is a bit of a walk to the conference, but I brought my running shoes for that. When I got to the conference I did a Superman quick change and wore my new high heels. Well let me tell you, they are a big mistake. My feet are killing me. I have a blister on the bottom of my right foot. Oh those wretched sexy shoes! I am not sure what I will do today. I only brought heels with me. I do not see myself wearing my running shoes with the cute outfits I brought. Perhaps I will take a break from them and wear my jeans with a fun top and my runners. I won’t look professional but I will be able to give my feet some healing time.

Other than my foot and some difficulty finding decent vegan food at our hotel I am having a great time. Homegrown Video hosted a little shindig last night so I got to socialize. I met some people in the business that I had only known through the industry message boards. It was great to put a face to name. I also got to hang out with Sam Sugar and talk his ear off. I love how the Internet allows you to interact with people around the world, but nothing beats having some face-to-face time.

I also attended the Girls of the Internet party. The placed was packed hot webgals. I got to see some people I had not seen in a while and I also got to hang out with Coldboy who is a member of my site and Furry Girl’s. Hey Coldboy! Nice finally meeting you!

Today I have to work the booth. I am also hoping to hook up with Furry Girl so we can have a proper vegan meal together. I am also hoping to entice her to shoot with me. I had a fun make out session with my friend Tim from Homegrown Video (in the powder room during a lunch function – so much fun!) and now I want some girl-girl action.

My Feet Are Killing Me
06-01-08

I really should be sleeping. I had a late night and I have a couple of shoots planned for today. The sleep would do me good. But I have been tossing and turning for the last hour so I thought I would get up and check my email and do a little surfing.

The show floor was pretty quiet yesterday. Before hand, James and I went for breakfast at the Canyon Ranch Spa at the Venetian and ate very well. It is one of our favourite spots to eat when we are in Las Vegas. When we stay there we try to make sure our room is on the same floor so we can just skip down the hallway to the restaurant. Well, I skip. James trots. When we got to the show floor we chatted with our booth mates from Naked Sword, getting a better sense of what each other’s company offers and some ways we might be able to do business. It is always nice to be productive.

Stefanie dropped by shortly after we arrived. A few people interested in producing for Homegrown Video chatted her up. She deals with that kind of stuff for the company so I am happy when she is there to take their queries. We left the booth at noon and went to a hospitality suite that was being hosted by Homegrown Video’s billing company, DHD Media. We grabbed a little lunch and hung out. Aria Giovanni was there and I did the fan thing and asked her to pose for a photo. She looked absolutely gorgeous and she was very kind. It is always nice to meet people who are in the public eye who are pleasant and down to earth.

Afterwards, Stefanie, James and I went shopping. Wow, was he patient with us as we meandered our way through the shops, checking out stores we do not have in our respective cities. I bought some stockings and a pair of wild pasties from Agent Provocateur. I cannot wait to wear them! I also got an apron and umbrella from Anthropologie (which I seem to only be able to pronounce in French), some bath salts from Fresh, and an agenda refill from Kate Spade. And I also hit Sephora. Oh how I wish we had one of those in Montreal.

Next, we went to the Homegrown Video suite to hang out with a couple of gals who were there for the day - the wife and girlfriend of two of our bosses. It was wonderful to catch up with them. We went to the food court to grab some more food (I had quite the appetite it seems) and chat.

Then it was time to get ready for the AVN Awards. I took a bath in the huge bath tub. The hotel we are staying at has some really nice smelling bath gels and soaps so it was quite the luxurious experience. James joined me for a bit and we relaxed together as the jets massaged our backs and feet. He stayed in while I got out and did my make up and hair. I am not happy with our bathroom’s counter space. I wish they had a proper vanity with good lighting, but I made due with the set up and did a decent make-up job for the event. My hair turned out well too.

James did not have the same preparations to go through but he was wearing a suit and had to wrangle with his tie. He doesn’t like tying them but he a did a fine job and looked fantastic in his sleek suit. Stefanie came by looking quite dazzling herself and we headed over to the Homegrown suite for a cocktail before the awards show. I am going to save the details of the awards show for a proper members’ area journal entry because it was an entirely interesting and bizarre experience. What I can tell you is I did a Canadian geek out when the musical entertainment for the show turned out to be Hedley which is a pop-punk band fronted by the third runner up in the 2004 Canadian Idol (who I had a minor crush on when he was competing on that show). When I realized it was them performing I rana round the table dancing. I was really hoping we could figure out a way to meet the band, but it did not work out. Still, it was fun to see them perform.

I am going to go back to bed now. See if I can catch a few winks before I have to begin my day.

Week of January 9th, 2006

Website Feature
06-01-09

Pinkgasm - I wanted to do the shout out thing to two wonderful people. I see them every few months at Internet porn conferences though I met one virtually through a friend a few years ago. Anyway, we bumped into each other again this past week and they shared some very nice and fuzzy thoughts with me. It made me feel good inside. Thanks Halcyon and Tassy.

Sex, Musicals & Games
06-01-10

Oh, what a day. Flight delayed. Luggage lost. Rude people on the flight. That is all I want to say about yesterday. I would rather focus on more pleasant, positive things in my life.

On Sunday I shot with Joy and Angelique. I had not shot with Joy in a couple of years and Angelique even longer. I really enjoyed myself and I had a quite a few orgasms. Such sexy, pretty girls they are. Afterwards, James and I grabbed some lunch and went up to the Homegrown Video suite. We hung out and watched part of the film Serenity. I definitely need to rent the series and the film. I am not sure why I never got hooked on to it when it played on TV. It was probably a timing issue. I only have so much time for TV.

After our little film viewing James and I went to see the musical Avenue Q. It was fantastic. We had really good seats. 4th row. The performers were so darn good. I really recommend you see this show if you can. At around 10:30, after the show, we went back to the hotel to hook up with the Homegrown Video crew. They were finishing supper and planning for a game. We would have to come up three statements about ourselves: 2 truths and 1 lie. The group would have to decide which statement was the lie. I was worried I could not come up with good statements so I pulled out my notebook and scribbled away. I came out with nearly 2 dozen statements. In the end when we played the game I went with a sexual one. Here it goes. You can share your response in my comments.

1) I inserted a butternut squash into my vagina.
2) I inserted a Barbie Doll into my vagina.
3) I inserted a candy cane into my vagina.

Busy Winter Bee
06-01-14

What a week! The weather is entirely too bizarre here in Montreal. It has been very warm. I think all the snow will melt away! Supposedly it will get cold again by tomorrow. Call my old fashioned but I like my winters cold and my summers hot. Our heat is still turned on rather high (it is controlled by the building manager, not us) and it has made sleeping very difficult. I sweat a lot at night, but with the heat on I am sweating straight through my t0shirts. Sleeping in the nude is not an option. I like to feel covered so it is either wear pyjamas or use a sheet. Since I toss and turn it has to be clothes. Otherwise, I get all tangled up or throw the sheets off and then freeze. Sleeping with me is no picnic, I tell ya.

I have had a busy week. I have a tonne of data entry to do as we move into the next phase of the Homegrown Video project (the redevelopment of the affiliate program, in case I had not mentioned it). Each accounts has 10 data fields I need to transfer. I have many, many accounts to do. So I am feeling a little loopy. I took last night off and called various members of my family to catch up. That was really nice. I also made a yummy supper with some really tasty organic broccoli. Organic produce just seems to have more flavour to it then the other stuff. I find this especially the case with fruit. Yummy.

While I was in las Vegas I did a lot of walking but only went to the gym once for a short training. Now I have to get back to running. I went for a 6k run on Wednesday and have a short tempo run of 4k planned for today. Tomorrow will be a long run with my running friends. If I am to complete a half-marathon this spring I will need to get serious about my training. More than ever.

By the way, I answered my Truth or Lie question in the comments for the 06-01-14. Hugs and kisses to those who got it right. <grin>

Week of January 16th, 2006

Balance
06-01-16

I feel like I am getting a bit of balance back to my life. December was a crazy month. Partly because of the holidays. Partly because of work. Partly because of getting ready for Internext. Then Internext came and went. I know I am not alone in taking about a week to get back on my feet after the show. There is email backlog to deal with. There is work to catch up on. There is so much laundry to do. But the most difficult thing for me to do is sleep.

The time change really messes me up. I like having my early to rise, early to bed schedule. When I am on west coast time I don't have that. It is very counter to what feels right for me. I need my sleep and I need to do it at a normal time. I am not a night owl. I am not productive during this time.

Well, last night I went to bed at 12:30. That was a big improvement. I hope to do the same tonight. Maybe even hit for midnight. Then tomorrow I want to get up early and run. It will be freaking cold but I will bundle up. I want to have my normal schedule back. I want to feel productive. I think I have to just force it along.

Website Feature
06-01-17

A friend forwarded me to Goodie Bag early last year in reference to a video about polyamory. It is a very funny video - especially if you have some knowledge of some of the issues of polyamory. You can also find some videos that make fun of superheroes, sports, and porn. In fact, the porn spoofs are really quite astute and hilarious. You really must check them out. The site's creator, Kirby Ferguson, has a nifty blog as well.

Sex Toy Monogamy
06-01-18

I received a little box of toys from Come As You Are yesterday. Two are for me (Laya vibrator & Woody dildo) and two are gifts for friends (Natural Contours Jolie vibrator & Jelly Guy #1 dildo). I think it is neat I can give sex toys to friends. Well, certain friends anyway. The ones with whom I discuss sexual pleasure. We don't get into the details of their experience with toys except to laugh at mishaps (i.e. the cat jumping on you to attack what is making the buzzing sound underneath your covers) and what kind of relationship they have with their sex toy.

One friend engages in sex toy monogamy. It is of a serial nature much like her relationships with men. She settles down with one toy for a number of months until she either wears it out, it doesn't get her off like it used to, something new catches her eye, or the sex toy begins to display annoying traits it had suppressed during courtship.

I find it fascinating how attached we can get to a specific sex toy. While I do have many toys because it adds variety to my photo shoots and webcam shows, I also do play favourites. Certain dildos appeal to my aesthetics more than others. I like bright colours and interesting shapes. Certain dildos fit me better than others. For typical usage I prefer that they be not too big or too long. However, I can handle thicker, bigger ones depending on where I am at in my menstrual cycle or how aroused I am. Certain dildos are easier to handle than others. I like a flared base best. Finally, I am a huge fan of silicone. They are longer lasting, easy to take care of and hypoallergenic.

When it comes to vibrators I can be finicky. Though I think I am right in doing so. Some vibrators just are not up to snuff. The vibration is often situated at the base where you hold it so you feel it in your hand, to the point that you go numb form the sensation. You want vibration on your g-spot or on your clit. I like those kinds of vibrators that have the vibration focused on the head so you can feel it where you need it. When it comes to getting off I am all about clitoral stimulation and in my experience nothing beats the Hitachi Magic Wand for intense vibration. Certainly nothing has ever made me squeal like it does. It can also take you from stone cold dry panties to lush wetness in 10 seconds flat.

Much like my sexual life with men and women, when it comes to sex toys I do have a wandering eye. I like to try new things and experiment a bit. Still, I have my main love that I come home to and couple of special ones that I see regularly for special dates.

Today's Soundtrack
06-01-20

I have been busy working on cleaning up site links and adding some useful bits of code to my sites. I also have been making content zips for Homegrown Video. To make the work a bit more enjoyable I have been playing music to work by. I just finished listening to the Buffy Musical. Before that it was Simon and Garfunkle. I love that Mrs. Robinson song. I also sang quite loudly along to a remake of Cruel To Be Kind. If I ever have the opportunity to sing that at Karaoke I will jump at it (after a tasty courage inducing beverage that is). I am also digging Kelly Clarkson while I work. Not sure how that happened. Anyway, this working while singing and dancing makes me wish I had a voyeur cam. I am sure it would be entertaining viewing for some.

Week of January 23rd, 2006

Website Feature
06-01-23

Melissa Gira is a writer, podcaster, and sex worker. Her website is called Sacred Whore. She creates her podcast in her work environment while she works. It makes for dynamic show. The show I listened to is titled The Virtues of "Fake" Women. She examines the way female sex workers are perceived based on their appearance and how people judge sex workers and the sex work experience on a supposed lack of authenticity. The podcast inspired a complete essay that I posted in the Fancy section of Seska 4 Lovers. Maybe it will inspire some reflection for you as well.

Here are a couple of quotes I liked from the podcast. The first is a digression from the main topic, but one I absolutely agree with. The second one made me smile in a sad sort of way.

Interaction & Lack There Of
06-01-25

Last night's webcam show was interesting. A little wacky and a lot of fun. The chat server for the system was down so I did my show without the usual feedback I receive in the chatroom. I realized how much I depend on that interaction to enjoy myself. I like knowing that people are enjoying themselves while I do the same. I like reading their thoughts on what I am doing and whatever else we happen to be discussing during the show.

I usually begin my show with what feels like a monologue. I let people know what I have been up to and what to expect from my show. Well, this time it really was a monologue because I was not pausing to read the chat and respond to questions and comments. I was really on my own. I felt a little lonely doing it this way.

The upside of the show is I got to have three orgasms. Since I was not stopping to read the chat I just kept playing. I used my silicone vibrating dildo (I have it in lime green) and my new pink vibrator. I had a very good time. In fact, one of my orgasms was probably the most intense ones I have had during a webcam show. It brought tears to my eyes - literally. However, I never got to find out if my viewers enjoyed watching me experience that.

New Featured Gallery
06-01-26

I posted a new featured gallery. It is of a cute couple, Adrian and Jon from Homegrown Video, in their first porn shoot. The full set is really awesome with lots of sucking and fucking, but I think the free gallery is pretty nifty too. I like putting a spotlight on men pleasuring women and it seemed that Jon and Adrian enjoy that as well.

Back and Forth
06-01-28

I am sorry I have not had much to say as of late. I have been vacillating back and forth from a place of happiness to a place of sadness and it has been hard to sit down and write. I think Mr. Cat's days are numbered. It looks like he is blocking up again and James and I promised ourselves and Mr. Cat that we would not make him endure another procedure to clean him out. It is stressful for him. The medication he is on is really rough too. We will bring him to the veterinarian on Monday for an examination.

In terms of happiness I have been feeling energized, listening to good tunes, getting back into a running routine, and coming up with some great ideas for future writing assignments (mainly for members only journals). Next Friday is my birthday and I want to have a nice day of celebration with my friends. I will be 35. However, I am worried that the day will be a sad one if we have to put Mr. Cat to sleep. It makes me feel bitter to have sadness attached to a happy day.

I know death is a part of life. I have had to deal with it in a big way when I lost someone I loved when was 24 and then my own mortality when I was sick when I was 30. In some ways it has made me feel like I can handle anything, but it also makes me feel very scared of experiencing loss again. I almost feel defiant. I just do not want to deal with it. Of course, I know it will. I love this cat so much. I have had in my life for nearly 15 years.

Right now he is lying by a light stand, rubbing his head against it. His front paws are stretched out and crossed. He is such a dignified looking cat when he is sitting down like that. A king of little beasts.

Sugasm #19
06-01-29

The best of the blogs by the bloggers who blog them, this week starting with the letter ‘V’.

Virgins (domequeen.blogspot.com)

A Conversation? (alwaysarousedgirl.blogspot.com)

Anal Cream Pie to Go (theholidaylife.blogspot.com…)

A Night Off! (whatsyourpleasure.blogspot.com…)

Anita Dark (sugarbank.com)

BadAss Valentines Day Sale + Free Shipping on Paddles & Floggers (tirepaddle.com…)

CockBlogging Wednesday 14 / Reader Question (shayssexcolumn.blogspot.com)

Disrobics (sugarpit.com)

Furniture babes (sexblo.gs)

Haircut and Fuck (bikersballsandteacherstits.blogspot.com)

His name was Levi (whatsexmaycome.blogspot.com)

How it might continue (emergingontheotherside.blogspot.com)

I. Cloud City (nakedloftparty.com)

Indecent Exposure? (deltaofvenus.blogspot.com)

I Want (swelteringcelt.com)

I was like this… (damnjezebel.com)

Jane’s first time wasn’t with Dick. (janeluvsdick.com)

KITKAST 1.13 - AVN 2/2, French Maid TV and Colombian Condom Laws (kitkast.com)

Leashed (talkingdirty.blogspot.com)

Marion, Lea and Dianne orgy Sapphic Erotica (simply-sapphicerotica.com)

New Featured Gallery (seska4lovers.com)

more Sugasm #19

Week of January 30th, 2006

Featured Website
06-01-30

My friend Furry Girl created and runs Veg Porn. It is a nifty porn site. It features vegetarians and vegans in various stages of undress as well as sharing their sexual sides. You do not need to be a vegetarian to enjoy the site, you just need to be interested in alternative erotica and sex-positive culture. One of the regular features is a yummy vegan recipe accompanied by a photo set of the chef preparing their dish in the nude. Very tasty, indeed!

Mr. Catamanga
06-01-31

We brought Mr. Cat to the vet today and had him put to sleep. It was sad. I cried a lot. I am sure I will be crying some more. I am going to take it easy tonight and do some mundane things. I know with time I will feel better. We have some wonderful memories of him and we feel better knowing he is not suffering anymore. He was the best of cats. Patient. Vocal. Demanding. Friendly. Easy going. Cute. Dignified. Bold. Stubborn. Here are a few photos of him. You can also check out a little pictorial featuring him in a cameo role that James made a couple of years back.